June 2012
15 posts
15 tags
Daily Expiration (6-22-2012)
The Miami Heat became NBA champions last night against the Oklahoma City Thunder. Critics say they hadn’t seen Oklahoma City collapse like they did since Timothy Mcveigh.
KKK Grand Wizard and senate candidate David Duke endorsed black politician Charles Barron for office. The move leaves many stunned and Mitt Romney without a vice president.
Dick Cheney’s gay daughter, Mary, got...
17 tags
Daily Expirations (6-19-2012)
Yoko Ono has a new art exhibit that has piles of dirt as art. People are wanting to check it out since hearing the dirt was taken from a grave John Lennon spun in.
Roger Clemens was acquitted of all steroid charges by the Supreme Court. Haven’t seen this much taxpayer money wasted since every day of my life.
Mike Tyson is bringing his one man show to broadway soon. The show will be the...
12 tags
Daily Expiration (6-15-2012)
Sarah Jessica Parker hosted an event at her house to raise funds for Obama’s campaign. President Obama said he couldn’t be happier to finally meet the star of Luck.
Guy in Connecticut called 911 when his sandwich wasn’t made correctly. Authorities scolded the man, which means he won’t be calling anyone when he dies alone.
Obama changed immigration policy that’d...
19 tags
Daily Expirations (6-14-2012)
Game of Thrones apologized for having a replica of George W. Bush’s head on a pole in an episode. Surprised they apologized since Bush was finally attached to something successful.
Chris Brown and Drake apparently got into a brawl in a NYC night club. I am disappointed in Chris Brown. I thought he’d never hit a woman again.
Military drones flying in DC were mistaken by many as UFOs....
15 tags
Daily Expirations (6-13-2012)
Casey Antony appeared on Piers Morgan last night. I’d tell you more, but his show has less viewers than Caylee Anthony did.
Henry Hill; the mobster turned FBI informant whose story the film “Goodfellas” is based on, has died. Guess he went and got his shinebox.
A new study says that people can judge 90% of a person’s personality by the shoes they wear. Ghandi and the...
13 tags
Daily Expirations (6-12-2012)
Scientists say spray on tans could be unhealthy. This was found after recipients started to be followed by MTV after one spray.
Burger King will begin selling bacon sundaes this summer. Great to kick off things is buy 3 get one hospital visit free.
For $1000, Groupon will name your baby. People found it worthless since it keeps naming every baby ‘Mistake.’
The LA Kings won the...
15 tags
Daily Expirations (6-11-2012)
A new study says there’s no real difference in children being raised by straight or gay parents. It did conclude that kids of straight or gay parents still ruin their dreams.
Union workers in Pennsylvania won a court battle that would allow them to eat expired food at schools. Union workers cheered the decision from the nurse’s bathroom.
The KKK in Atlanta are trying to take part in...
18 tags
Daily Expirations (6-8-2012)
Lindsay Lohan was involved in an accident with an 18 wheeler. Luckily, nobody is hurt. She’s been released from the hospital, while the 18 wheeler was sent to the STD clinic for testing.
A woman was caught making meth in her purse at a Walmart. When Walmart employees caught her, they knew they had to hire her immediately. She was suspected after watching Breaking Bad continuously on aisle...
19 tags
Daily Expirations (6-7-2012)
Students at Stuyvesant HS in New York held a “Slutty Wednesday” protest in response to strict dress codes at the school. I’d love to see the teachers that are supporting the protest. Any teacher standing by the students are probably standing behind them, sweating guilt.
Charlie Sheen said in an interview that during the time he said he was, “winning,” the actor...
13 tags
Daily Expirations (6-5-2012)
Donald Trump announced he’s canceling his USA Today subscription. USA Today said they were sad he cancelled, but happy to know Trump can actually read.
Mayor Bloomberg proposed a bill that’d limit arrests on weed. So sodas are bad, but the top cause of snackage is good?
Company Mars One has pledged to start a colony on Mars in 2023. It will be a one way ticket. It’ll be a hard...
16 tags
Daily Expirations (6-4-2012)
A Florida woman was arrested for choking her boyfriend after he refused to marry her. I thought you were supposed to wait till marriage to try and kill each other.
A Kuwaiti man was sentenced to 10 years in prison for tweets that made fun of the Prophet Muhammad. Least we know Kuwait’s court can be dumb in under 140 characters.
Comedian Bill Maher became co-owner of the New York Mets. The...
5 tags
My First Haters!
I got my first bit of hate!
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Here’s was what was said about today’s Daily Expirations by notdiabetes and crackedouttheories:
notdiabetes - Donuts don’t cause diabetes, but nice job spreading harmful misinformation in the guise of “humor.”
Oh, and some bonus sexism in that coaching paragraph. You’re just all kinds of douchey, aren’t you?
(By the way, before you use the...
13 tags
Daily Expirations (6-1-2012)
Today is National Donut Day. The country celebrated by giving away free diabetes.
DC comics announced the Green Lantern is gay. People thought Aquaman would be, but his relationship with animals isn’t called gay. The move will maybe help some comic readers come out of the closet, now we just have to get them outside.
News reports say ‘Sesame Street’ songs were used to torture...
