Facts About Me

I once made a steak all by myself.

I played soccer for YMCA when I was little.

People let me believe I was good at soccer.

I called the cops on a hooker. She ripped me off.

I live in New York City.

My beard is ginger, but me being a whiny baby isn’t.

Some people tell me I look like ugly celebrities. Famous is famous right?!

I complimented Will Arnett’s dog instead of saying I’m a fan.

I have a subscription to Brazzer’s.