Daily Expirations (5-22-2012)
Universal Studios has developed a theme park ride based on Michael Bay’s Transformers movies. The ride will be a nonstop thrill ride where park employees toss your wallet straight into the trash.
Illinois Legislature this week voted down a measure that would’ve given college tuition waivers to certain students. Lawmakers instead opted to just give students bus tickets out of Illinois.
A parking spot in Manhattan is going on sale for one million dollars. The six figure spot is a garage that comes equipped with a homeless man that yells, “JACKASS,” at you every morning.
After five DWIs, a Texas man was sentenced to 45 years for his latest DWI. Sad, since If he had just one DWI, he would’ve gotten 8 years as president.
The Former President of CNN’s Headline News was caught putting poop into a neighbor’s mailbox on video. Authorities thought it to be dog poop, but upon closer inspection, just a headshot of Piers Morgan.
New Jersey Woman filed a lawsuit against her job for firing her over her breast being too large. A jury for the trial will be decided by who can keep eye contact with her.
The first non-government based space capsule launched yesterday. The billionaire funding the project said, “This is one small step for man. One giant leap towards getting rid of the Kardashians.”
Ronald Reagan’s blood is being auctioned off. A vial of The Gipper’s blood will be able to be bid on. Some say it’s creepy, but not as creepy as the type of vial Bill Clinton tried to donate.
Don’t know if you saw the series finale of of Fox’s House, but Fox employees are sad the finale didn’t end with blaming Obama.
